World War 3
by DCdude8888
Summary: This is the story of a group of friends, going out to save America when the terrorist attack. Has some things that only me and my friends understand. But still amazing.


World War 3

It was an average day in Colorado, the kids were headed to school, adults to work. Dion ran to school, he was late for class. Also he was Mexican, the kind that shouldn't be in our country because he isn't LEGAL. Anyway, as he ran to school on this cold winters morn, he looked to the sky and saw several planes headed to DIA. These planes were not the usual planes that arrive in America, they were foreign. Dion had a flight to Arizona later this day to help smuggle his family into MY country so he was a little worried. He arrived at school during 4th period and headed to the library to see his friends, Danny the winning whiteman, Eyo the black, and Brian the Asian. They watched the news on the computers as reports of war planes were coming in for unknown reasons, from the Middle East, North Korea, Russia, and Germany. During 5th they gathered with friends: Vince, Scott, and Seth. And discussed the daily events of Lil B, Diamond, and #YOLO #SWAG. Suddenly the earth began shaking and everyone ran outside. They saw something nobody expected except Danny because he is winning. Thousands of war planes were blowing up buildings, cars, and people. They looked down the streets to see tanks coming down along with other foreign military vehicles, it was an invasion.

The group ran for cover as explosions flew to each side of them. They ran to a nearby restaurant, Saigon Dragon and called the police. The popo said that military was on their way to stop but it would be time because the entire state was being attacked. The group sat there shocked at the news. Suddenly they heard Nazi chat from outside, they were searching the buildings. Dion grabbed a frying pan and stood at the doorway as everyone else hid. As the Germans slowly entered Dion hit them in the head with a frying pan, luckily there were only two. The German soldiers were loaded each with a pistol and a sub machine gun. Dion gave one sub machine gun to Danny and the pistols to Eyo and Seth. They looked to see if it was safe outside and they ran out the back of Saigon. Helicopters were circling the area and the group knew the needed to escape. They found a sewer grate and pried it off. Inside the sewer smelled worse than Dion, it was like being in Mexico. They traveled for about an hour and found a spot where they could look out, they had reached 120th and a blood bath, soldiers from America and the Terrorist was going on, soldiers blowing up and bleeding out. They watched for a bit as American soldiers fell to their death, was this the end?

It fell like days of walking through the sewers, the smell was nothing because they had gotten used to it. Eventually they reached the end of the sewer and arrived at Flat Irons mall, but when they came out it was now a military base for America. They ran in for safety but were arrested by soldiers. Luckily Mexico and Africa weren't attacking and everyone else was white, so the group was allowed in. They approached the general and asked what the hell was happening and he gave them a report from the white house…

Dear General,

DIA wasn't built by the government; it was built by the Germans after WW2. Since it opened they have been planning an attack. A group of Nazis were sent to South America during the war to begin a strike against America on their land, but when they arrived in Colorado it had ended. So the group had begun building a base which they disguised as an Airport for a strike when they were ready. 67 years later it was time. They begin flying supplies in 2000 from Germany but when the US Government had become suspicious they needed help, Germans called help from the middle east to distract the Americans which. This distraction happened September 11th, 2001. The US was so distracted with that, they paid no attention to the Germans. As time went on Germans gathered help, they recruited Russia and told them they could go back to being the Soviet Union if they helped. North Korea was told they would get South Korea, and Middle East was promised towels. Now they are attacking America with no alarm. It went under our nose the whole times. Expect help soon.

General Byers

It was dead silence except for Eyo who said: Holy Cack.

The gang had decided to stay there a couple days and train. They wanted to help the soldiers fight off and retake our land. A few days later in the middle of the night an explosion went off, waking everyone, except Vince who was fapping. They all ran outside to see helicopters and tanks attacking the base. As soldiers ran forward to their deaths, the gang stayed back knowing they couldn't win.

Seth couldn't hold it in anymore and pooped himself. He then screamed and ran forward into battle; they followed because they didn't want their friend to die. When they caught up it was a ghastly site. Seth was being choked by a Nazi. They were about to attack when they were all knocked out.

When they awoke they were in a moist dark empty prison. Ahead of them was Seth tied down to a chair. Groggily Dion looked around and shouted: "Where are we!?" The door suddenly opened and the Nazi that was choking Seth came out.

"Guttentag" The Nazi said, "I am Josh the Nazi" He then pulled out a knife and began humping Seth. Then he took off Seth's shoe and cut off his big toes.

Seth screamed in excited pain. The Nazi smiled and shoved the big toes down his throat. As Seth began choking, Josh cut off his pinkie toes and stuffed them up his nose. The group watched as this torture went on, all of Seth's fingers and toes were being cut off and shoved in different holes. After the painful death, Seth died.

Josh laughed as he approached the table we were sitting at. (Tied up of course) Scott was breathing heavily like he just made anal love with his divits. Scott screamed and ripped his arms out of the bindings. He grabbed a sword conveniently underneath the table and stabbed Josh through his dick hole and out his mouth. Blood squirted all over and then Scott freed everyone else. After searching the prison they made their way out to see there was nobody around. Luckily the prison was stocked up on guns and ammo. They were set to take back America!

They spent days walking through the forest, taking rest with Indian Americans and lost soldiers. Eventually they arrived at a camp made out of tiger skin, bottles of blood were everywhere. They gasped for they had reached the ultimate American Winner, Charlie Sheen. They carefully approached the tent, for they didn't want to scare the biwinning God. Danny bowed as Charlie exited the tent before them.

"What are you doing here and what do you want?" Charlie asked grabbing his winning knife.

"Nothing Lord. We are just making camp as we head to the North Korean base" Dion responded with a bow.

Charlie nodded as he went to drinking his tiger's blood. When he had finished he looked at Dion and smiled. "I know what you want." He said. Then he pulled out a wide eyed cat and Dion gasped.

"NALA" Dion screamed as he cried tears of joy. His favorite cat in the world was in his grasps. Dion grabbed the cat and set up his tent. They didn't see Dion again for the rest of the night, only heard soft meows from both the cat and Dion.

While everyone else was sleeping Brian exited the tent for he could not sleep. He saw Charlie Sheen watching the stars in a nearby tree and he decided to join him.

Charlie paid no attention as Brian sat next to him. But after a while he sighed and said, "There is only one way you and your friends will be able to stop the North Koreans." Bryan looked at him and asked how. "You all know how. The natural enemy of North Korea is South Korea, and South Korea means one thing." Charlie nodded as Brian gasped.

The next morning the group was ready to set out when Charlie asked if he could join them. Danny excitedly said yes and the set off to victory! The weather was nice, a little chilly but no wind. The road was empty except for a few squirrels which Scott ate raw. This was the first time they had to morn Seth which didn't last long. As they went over a hill they stopped and saw it, the giant pollution of trees and pollution smog from North Korea's base.

"There it is," Vince said, "Vietnam."

"No you idiot." Brian said face palming.

"China? Japan? Indonesia? Malaysia? Thailand? Is it most of America because we are invading it when the white people don't want us too?" Vince asked.

Eyo slapped him. "It's North Korea you gymnosperm."

The group carefully approached the rice field base. The guards were swarming like Asian dolphins about to be killed for sushi. Scott took the lead, filled with anger and eagle beaks he shoved up his ass. As he crouched through the rice fields he noticed a single guard eating rice by himself. Scott grabbed his bag full of sponsorship products and beat the living diamond out of the guard, leaving him a slit-eyed mess. Up ahead was a building, it was yellow and had Nazi flags on it.

"It must be where Kim Jong Su Jak Di is." Scott said as the group headed up the road. Dion grabbed the dead soldier's gun and gave it to Vince. He would have given it to Seth, but he is dead. Eyo, using his black man skills, leaped 39 feet in the air and went through an open window. A few minutes later the dark skinned fellow opened the door.

The castle was huge, left over from the Indians that lived there before whites. Behind each door was a new danger. Then Eyo took the lead to a door, he opened it and was tackled by a large Asian sumo who was Asian. The group tackled the fat man but he was too mushy. Vince was sucked into the sumo's fat as he lifted Eyo into the air. The sumo suddenly pulled a rope out of his ass and tied it into a noose and hung it to the chandelier. The group watched in horror as Eyo was about to be lynched.

"I am Giovanni the sumo" Gio stated. Then he let go and lynched Eyo.

Seth's ghost came out of nowhere and cheered that he wasn't the only one dead but suddenly the rope broke! Eyo had too much swag that the rope couldn't support. He also had about 500 pounds of stolen goods, because he is black. Charlie Sheen then shoved Seth's ghost up his ass.

The entire village knew they were there and the group began running towards the large doors. Guards were coming up on ever side and they thought it was the end! Suddenly an Asian driving a car flew off the hallway and crashed into the group of guards, killing them all.

"Go bad Asian drivers!" Dion exclaimed as he pet Nala.

Bryan took the lead and bust through the door. Kim Jong Si No iL was shocked to see them.

"You won't kill me! I am immortal!" Kim Jong Kenny Vince Bryan Asians said.

"Of course!" Danny realized. "All Asian villains are immortal!"

"But every Asian has one weakness!" Bryan yelled.

Charlie Sheen took out some sunglasses and threw them at Bryan. He grabbed them and put them on. Suddenly out of nowhere a magical beat began to blast and Eyo face palmed.

"WOOOHOO!" Danny cheered.

Charlie pulled more pairs of sunglasses and gave them to the group. Charlie, Danny, Bryan, Vince, and Dion started dancing Gangnam Style. Kim Jon jnfiowfnioeu was screaming. He couldn't handle the greatest song in the world. He then disintegrated.

Lord Psy appeared out of the body and bowed to the group.

"Thank you, the song was created purely for this task" Psy said.

He then disappeared. One WW3 lord was down, a lot of other countries to go. The party could not start yet; they still needed to escape from the base which had thousands of Asians looking for them. Scott accidently tripped as he looked around the room and caused a door to open, leading to a giant arsenal of high tech guns.

"God damn Asians," Danny said as he grabbed several rockets.

They looked off the balcony to see the entire base of Asians surrounding them.

"How could we escape? We can't kill all of them" Vince said as he fapped behind a couch.

"OH YES WE CAN" Danny said jumping off the balcony shooting rockets. "BANZAI!"

The group followed as they landed on a soft pile of dead Asian bodies of Asians from Asia cause Asia. Only screams of American victory could be heard as bodies rag dolled through the air. After not to long the group was walking out of the destroyed camp.

"Winning" Charlie said with a smile.

Days past before they saw any Americans, all they heard were radio reports of the US losing ground. Germany had taken over the white house and colored it red. It was now named the Orange house of orgasms. One day Bryan had gotten up early to do Asian things to himself and took a walk. He wasn't paying attention when a scream from a tree had tackled him to the ground. It was an Arabic towel head. The group heard the scream and ran towards it. Bryan was fighting for his life, The terrorist was throwing kebabs, sand, and curved swords at him. Vince got there and tackled the Muslim to the ground. Breaking his muslim towel head, Arabic, sand neck. He looked at Bryan but it was too late. The muslim had taped a bomb to Bryans chest and Bryan blew up.

Eyo fell to the ground as body parts rained around them. "Oh babes"

The group continued in silence through the snow, because it was winter. Dion, Scott, Danny, Vince, Eyo, Nala, and Charlie Sheen. Brian and Seth dead, and violated. After weeks of walking they reached the smell of burning bodies and yamakas the stupid jewish hat. It was the Nazi base, headquarters for the war in this part of the countries.

"Time to take down another country!" Eyo yelled in excitement.

The group snuck in and examined the base from the bush of a fat women. There were high ranked soldiers, windows boarded up with planks, and weird vending machines. Vince, who studied Germany in detention, knew these vending machines would give them special powers, they snuck up to a blue machine, labeled Quick Revive. Eyo pulled out a few million dollars he stole from his ass pocket and they bought several bottles of it. Danny drank one and suddenly the ground started shaking. Then out of nowhere Seth popped out of the ground.

"Damn it, I wanted Brian." Danny said and shot Seth in the head.

The gunshot and Earth shaking caused the Nazis to know where they were. They were surrounded with nowhere to go, except Eyo who jumped 127 feet in the air and escaped over the wall.

They were brought into the main office, where Adolf Hitler stood.

"They used the Quick Revive for Hitler!" Dion exclaimed.

"Obviously." Scott said giving him a sexy wink.

Vince looked around and stared at his friends, "I know what I have to do"

"He broke those cuffs!" Danny yelled.

He ripped off his pants and began fapping. More guards entered the facility and surrounded them. Vince moaned and shot sperm acid at his friends cuffs, breaking them. They ran out while the guards watched Vince fap intrigued. They got outside and looked at the window where they could see Vince fapping and the guards surrounding him. Then Vince screamed.

"I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO" They heard Vince shout. Then a plasma cannon of sperm shot out of the Asian's dick. He twirled around blasting all the Nazis with it, including a few women. He couldn't control the stream and EXPLODED into sperm and semen.

"Vince! NOOOOOOOO!" Dion screamed, "My favorite caaackk!" In memory of Eyo

The explosion blasted out of the window, turning Eyo white and changed the look of the base. It was now covered with snow and snowing, which was actually sperm, but nobody had to know. Vince was no longer visible; he was gone with his least favorite cousin. They looked around the base; it was full of dead Nazis and now pregnant women. All of the vending machines were broken, and so were all of their bottles except for 12.

Charlie Sheen drank one and the Earth shook. Everyone's heart was pounding hoping it was Vince or Brian. Then Lil B popped out of the ground. Everyone was cheering and #cooking except for Danny who shot him in the head.

"Not happening" Danny said.

Charlie drank another one and the Earth shook. Suddenly a weird thing came out. It was a combination between Seth, Vince, and Brian. It had 3 heads, Seth's legs, Vince's, hand, and Brian's ass. The group screamed at this gross beast. And killed it, shooting Seth's head first, the Brian's, the Vince.

"Alright one more try." Dion said, taking a drink. The Earth shook and suddenly Seth came out of the ground.

"Son of a… FINE we will keep this one." Danny said.

"Danny you dick, don't shoot me again." Seth said as he wiped his ass with a rock.

The group continued on out of the semen filled base. As they walked they looked back at the base. What they saw was disturbing… more disturbing then when Dion had a threesome with Nala and Scott. Zombies, everywhere, NAZI ZOMBIES. The zombies chased after them and they thought it was the end, again. But then out of the skies, Christian rode down on a giant eagle.

"Cock Caw!" Christian yelled as he landed. "Get on!"

They boarded the Eagle and took off in the nick of time.

The flew a few miles when they saw there next stop, Russia.

"So you took down the Mini Nazi base eh?" Christian asked.

"What do you mean MINI?" Scott asked.

"I thought you guys knew, the main base is in Washington DC, we are in another" Christian responded.

Danny slapped Seth, "I TOLD YOU"

Suddenly a bullet struck the eagle sending it into a nose dive.

"Just like the NFL your eagle was good now it sucks!" Danny said grabbing onto Christian.

Nala took to action, she curled up into a ball and EXPLODED into a giant furry plane. The group hold on to Nala and Dion grabbed the control cat penis stick.

"KAMAKAZI!" Danny yelled as Dion dive-bombed the Russian base.

An explosion of cat meows soon followed and several Russians flew through the air. Dion grabbed the exhausted Nala and shoved her down his pants. The Russians were scattered in confusion and Dion grabbed some guns off the dead bodies.

The leaders of the Russian base appeared. Bass hunter, Lord Vodka, and a bear named Nick.

"I bring you the Russian Bass" Basshunter said pulling out an electronically advance gun. He shot them and wub wub wubs flooded the groups ears. Charlie Sheen growled and grabbed Seth throwing him at Basshunter by his dick, ripping it off. Seth's scream was so loud and highpitched the wub wub wub gun had no chance. Basshunter's ears exploded with blood as Seth tackled him. The fight was on.

Danny grabbed one of the 9 remaining bottles and tried to drink it when Nick the bear tackled him breaking it. Charlie Sheen tackled the bear stabbing it with his tiger knife. Two of the leaders were dead. But Lord Vodka had called for backup. Thousands of Russian soldiers surrounded the base. And the remaining group surrendered again.

As a soldier came up to execute them a tribal spear stabbed him. The group gasped and looked as Eyo and thousands of Taskforce members flew in on flying angiosperm. It was a miracle.

What followed was a huge war. The taskforce versus the Russians. In the chaos Dion saw Lord Vodka making a break for it. To a teleporter that linked back to the Nazi base. Dion chased after him with a gay rape grin on his face. He tackled the Lord right before the teleporter and a fight ensued. Dion stood up and grabbed a him.

Dion got close to him and whispered, "You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape" and Dion kicked the Russian into the teleporter.  
Dion smiled, "Good luck with zombies "Lord Vodka" Nikoli." He then ran back to his friends to help them escape.

When they got to a hill they watched the battle. Taskforce was dominating Russia.

Dion, Danny, Scott, Seth, Eyo, Nala, Charlie Sheen, and Christian. They had lost 3 friends but brought one back. Another base had been taken over. All they had to do was take over the Nazi base in Washington DC. So America could take back their country.

They reached the home of America, Washington DC 28 days later. But what they saw wasn't the American dream. It was a slave camp. Ovens were everywhere from the Nazis, Rockets from the North Koreans, Nukes from Russia, bombs and Torrahs from the Middle East. They were planning to enslave America. There was no chance that they would be able to take down them stealthily, if at all. 7 guys and a cat had to take down 4 countries at once.

"We are unarmed, how can we do this?" Danny asked.

Eyo smiled pulling out some rockets and guns from the Russian and North Korean base, "These should help till we get to the armory." He said, pointing to a guarded building.

Dion looked at Nala, "It's time you save our butts again my love. Distract those guards!" He yelled chucking the cat at the armory.

Nala stared at the guards and the guards starred back.

"Oh my Allah it's adorable!" A towel head said. They followed Nala leaving the armory unprotected except for a few lingering guards who preferred dogs. Danny walked in front of them.

"No more running! I'm going to kill you all like I did to Ben Roethlisberger!" Danny yelled blasting several rockets at the terrorist. The armory was open and the sirens were going off. They all raced inside and grabbed what they could, grenades, Molotov cocktails, Guns, Rockets, Everything.

They stood at the steps of the Lincoln building and watched as the terrorist surrounding them.

Eyo narrowed his eyes, "It's time to cook."

The group charged out screaming "FOR AMERICA!"

As predicted America was dominating, the terrorist had no idea what to do, explosions and bullets were flying everywhere.

Scott was focusing on North Korea because he hates the chinks. A random Asian named Gimin charged Scott and stabbed him. Scott grabbed the knife and sliced a third slit for the Asian. Eyo was cack slapping the Russians showing those white boys how it's done.

The sheer thought a few friends, Charlie Sheen, and a cat that has been violated SEVERAL times are destroying the terrorist is remarkable and unbelievable. But these are AMERICANS; the MOST dominate species on this planet. And nobody will be able to stop them.

One by one each of them was taking out an entire army, because they believed in each other. In less than an hour the entire army was dead. But the group lived on.

They headed up to the white house, now called the Orange house of Orgasms or something. Dion took a deep breath as he opened the front doors, but it was empty. The headed to the oval office, guns in hand and ready. Seth took the lead. The group was a distance behind him because Seth shit himself again and it smelt horrible.

"For the fapping Vince!" Seth yelled as he kicked open the doors to the Oval Office.

Seth was then tackled into the wall by a mysterious man. He began humping Seth and Seth just sat there and moaned happily. It was their worst fear… Count. Nala tacked him but Count ate the cat faster than an Asian at a dog pound. Then Count stabbed Seth in the head with his weird shaped penis. He was killed for the 3rd or 4th time. Dion screamed when Nala was killed and tackled the sticky Count. Dion stabbed him with his necklace which had a picture of Nala in a sexy pose being violated by Scott. He then got off him all sticky like and rejoined the group as they looked into the Oval office.

There he sat… Dion and Eyo's worst fear, Brett Favre. He sat in the Presidents chair and was wearing a Miami Dolphins uniform. They gasped.

"Why would you do this? You are the greatest football player in the world?" Dion asked crying.

"Because, when I retired, I knew I was missing something in life, the power over people for being great. So I decided to take over America." Brett Favre responded.

He then pulled out a tiger tooth and chucked it into Charlie Sheen's heart.

"Winning? More like #Losing!" Brett Favre said with a smile.

Anger went through Scott's butt like he just got raped by Keppel, or an average Sunday night for Scott. He charged the football player but was stopped when he was tackled by his worst fear, Mr. Gielas. Gielas began slapping Scott on the back. Soon Scott's back was bloody and Scott laid there, dead. Christian tried to make a run for it but was stabbed by Michael Vick.

"I loved the Eagles! Why would you do this?" Christian whimpered as Vick tea bagged him.

"Well since the Eagles suck SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O *breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much, this is what I resorted too." Vick responded.

Christian was now dead. All that was left was Dion, Danny, and Eyo. (I don't remember if anyone else was there so if they were, they are dead).

"This is it Favre!" Danny yelled. The three of them ran towards Favre with force as he jumped up. He tackled Eyo and broke his arms, then sent Eyo a sexually explicit picture of himself. Eyo screamed as Brett jumped in the air and snapped Dion's neck. All that was left was Danny. Eyo pulled out his last bottle of Quick Revive with his unbroken hand and threw it towards Danny who caught it.

"You must say the most important words to that! And it will bring us all back!" Eyo said in his last breath.

Danny dodged Brett Favre and looked around for what the most important ingredient could be.

"I know!" Danny said. He stared at the bottle and yelled: "SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY"

The bottle exploded into glowing shit and a glow wrapped around his dead friends body and spots in the ground. Then with a loud boom his friends jumped up from the Earth. They were back, Eyo whose arm was fixed, Dion whose neck was unsnapped, Seth... who for some unknown reason is back… Brian who changed his name to Bryan cause IT'S FUCKING EASIER, Vince who was fapping and screaming because he got Gonorrhea, Crabs, the Clap, AIDS, HIV, and every other disease, Scott who had hair that wasn't extremely divity, Nala who was fluffier and raped more than ever, Charlie Sheen who was winning like he had never won before, and Christian who was now a Detroit Lions fan.

Brett Favre took a step backed shocked. He couldn't believe it. The group screamed and tackled the famous player, ripping him bones from bone.

"I always preferred Dan Marino." Scott said.

After a while they walked outside and looked at the beautiful sunrise.

"It's done, we won." Danny said.

"LET'S PARTY!" Seth said. Suddenly a brick fell on him and killed him.

Then out of nowhere, Kanye West jumped in front of them.

"IT'S MY TURN TO RULE, LET ME INTO MY ZONE" He screamed.

"Oh come on, we don't have time for this," Eyo said and Danny shot him in the head.

It was done, America was ready to rebuild.

TTTTTTHHHHHHEEEEE ENNNNDDDDDD WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO

CREDDIITTSSSS"

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY

Danny "WINNING WHITEMAN" Carrier

CO-STARRING:

George Lopez as Dion

Owen Wilson as Scott

Cat as Nala

Charlie Sheen as himself

Jet Li as Vince

Jackie Chan as Brian

Justin Bieber as Seth

Kanye West as himself

Brett Favre as himself

Denzel Washington as Eyo

Tom Cruise as Christian

AND MORE

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND EXPECT A NEW STORY COMING TO A SHIT NEAR YOU.


End file.
